you know how when youre writing an essay for school or something, and every little word drastically changes the whole format of the paper? if you put a word here, somewhere down there the lines are all messed up, and now the sentences don't look even on the page? it like auto indents somewhere random after you put in a period or something? multiply that little essay you think is hard, multiply it by like forty nine, and thats basically what im facing right now.
I cant stress this enough,
but you honestly think books, and two hundred perfectly formatted pages just come from nowhere? it takes fucking WORK. and i know this blog is now basically a digital back alley of sick, and twisted rants that mean nothing to anyone else, but holy shit.. what is everyone else doing right now? im sitting on my ass hammering out sentences and trying to bring in corners, and inputting pictures, and marking off some of the words ive used so i can keep track of where everything's at.
its a two headed, unforgetful, unforgiving bitch that wont let me sleep. The deadline is closing in, time is running out, and im fucking going crazy. ive kept most of the images, and plotlines, and all that... ive kept it all "under wraps" because when i unleash this beast, im probably going to lose all my facebook friends, and im probably going to get kicked out of the place i live in because of what's come out of my head onto paper. its all science based, its all about math, its all about death, and theres a section about the peace of surrender in suicide. Worse off, im worried about how this work will be received because i personally had to go insane to write this, I personally had to come up with more than fifty names in this work, and create lists of countries i wanted to include, and all this other bullshit that is so miniscule in detail, i doubt anyone will really grasp how deep this shit is, and its just fucking depressing to me, id rather just release it to my family or something than try to chance it with the average reader to be honest. sorry if i offended you, but fuck.
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