Tuesday, October 23, 2012
just like the flying V, and drummer in the back.. I think he wasn't into it, after the last show in december, after 2001.. but went with it anyways, and though i have nothing, sitting at the park, playing 6 strings in the wind, and no-one around except her.. It comes back to me, it comes to be alive again, it resonates in the trill notes, it revives in the high e string, and walking up the 14th frets in E-minor.. feeling the coils, feeling the bridge against my palm slaps, and reverb from the hollow dreadnaught, reverb from the cement and grass around, with cars passing by, and people walking their dogs.. its coming back to me, and im no longer alone..
Sunday, October 21, 2012
sleeping next to the 91 freeway has to be one of the funnier experiences of my life... People piling on until 9 o'clock that night.. and nothing, no peep til 6ish AM the following sunrise, and a crowd, a gang of cars everywhere, back at it again.. stuck in California traffic.
It's the life really, we sacrifice our dreams at the alter of responsibility, at the alter of someone else's words, or their dreams, their direction for us. So we sit on the freeway for them, we burn our gas, and pay the prices because someone else told us to do it.. you fuckin kidding me?
the city is my home,
the city is my home..
Leaving the duffel bag in these bushes, full of food.. I come back another night to pick it up, still where I ditched.. between the bush and the tree.. some car stops to look at me, probably wondering if I have a weapon, probably contemplating killing me, some George Zimmerman shit.. god these people, the public, you learn something about them when you disconnect yourself from it all...
they're paranoid, they're willing to kill for fear, not die to it.
It's the life really, we sacrifice our dreams at the alter of responsibility, at the alter of someone else's words, or their dreams, their direction for us. So we sit on the freeway for them, we burn our gas, and pay the prices because someone else told us to do it.. you fuckin kidding me?
the city is my home,
the city is my home..
Leaving the duffel bag in these bushes, full of food.. I come back another night to pick it up, still where I ditched.. between the bush and the tree.. some car stops to look at me, probably wondering if I have a weapon, probably contemplating killing me, some George Zimmerman shit.. god these people, the public, you learn something about them when you disconnect yourself from it all...
they're paranoid, they're willing to kill for fear, not die to it.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
humanity at times is kind of a joke in my opinion.. All these people burning gas, and dumping toxins down the drains..leaving kids or pets in a car, windows up... "accidentally" cooking employees with an industrial oven, and saying they were a "hard worker".. children screaming in the library, a line of honking cars because someone is in the crosswalk...
I have no words anymore, but when I walk into carls jr to take a piss, or drop a shit.. face all oily from waking up, and stomach full from the night before.. there just are no words anymore, other than the same usual speech of
"no-one will stop to help you out.. nobody cares, only your friends, only your family.."
yadda-yadda.. I feel like im beating a dead horse with my writing, I feel like my words are falling on a deaf crowd that are consumed with their phones and their text messages, and their inability to relate to someone pointing out the flaws in professional relationships, or systems that need fixing.. I feel like it's wrong to state the truth, I feel like its wrong to follow my impulses, like it's wrong to lose passion in certain things.. I feel like its wrong to go with the waves and wind, and say fuck it if someone treats me badly.. im tired of all the educated marching along to someone elses drum... what if you just threw it all away.. who are you when you have nothing, and what form of a new kingdom would you build, from the ground up? get the chance
who are you...
I have no words anymore, but when I walk into carls jr to take a piss, or drop a shit.. face all oily from waking up, and stomach full from the night before.. there just are no words anymore, other than the same usual speech of
"no-one will stop to help you out.. nobody cares, only your friends, only your family.."
yadda-yadda.. I feel like im beating a dead horse with my writing, I feel like my words are falling on a deaf crowd that are consumed with their phones and their text messages, and their inability to relate to someone pointing out the flaws in professional relationships, or systems that need fixing.. I feel like it's wrong to state the truth, I feel like its wrong to follow my impulses, like it's wrong to lose passion in certain things.. I feel like its wrong to go with the waves and wind, and say fuck it if someone treats me badly.. im tired of all the educated marching along to someone elses drum... what if you just threw it all away.. who are you when you have nothing, and what form of a new kingdom would you build, from the ground up? get the chance
who are you...
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
a visit
Hopped the fence, around 1140ish.. friend waiting in my car, running idle. Grabbed the bag I left, saw that all the lights were off, and in a once in a lifetime, last-ditch effort, whispered her sleeping name.
Nothing.
Whispered it again...
Nothing.
Dog sleeps through so many tv shows, and blaring Bjork songs... I remember us in my room, her asleep on my floor -fuckin snoring loud as fuck. God, she wouldnt let me sleep with her out of control, rude sleeping antics.. it's like she was the only one in the room or some shit, but she was on my floor at one point, passed out in the room. Me, on the mattress, awake.. hella early, just staring at her.. kinda pissed off? Yeah. Kinda. I was mad that she wouldnt shut the fuck up.. but I love her anyways, and understand that she needed the sleep or whatever, so I didnt wake her up.. I didn't put her outside, I just dealt with it, but anyways,
"Buttercup.."
Flash forward a couple years, 1143ish one night..
"BUTTERCUP, WHAT THE FUCK?"
From the other side of the garage door, I hear her wake up. I hear her shake around.. She rushes to the other side of the door, I hear. I try to lift the thing up, but im not strong enough. I try to slip my fingers underneath the door to her, but they're not long enough. She smells me, I hear her nose.
"Buttercup.." I whisper, "..told you I'd come back.."
Her nose makes all this noise.. and though we don't touch, just knowing each other is there, divided by this door, divided by some beliefs, and morals, pages and scriptures, divided by alot of things.. We just know each other is there, and that's good enough. And in our own little ways, possibly smiling inside, possibly farting with joy, I do our "secret call" (psssttttttttt!) one last time, and hurry back to my car, and waiting friend, and speed off down the street, finally re-united with my bag, and the contents inside, drive off into the night...
Nothing.
Whispered it again...
Nothing.
Dog sleeps through so many tv shows, and blaring Bjork songs... I remember us in my room, her asleep on my floor -fuckin snoring loud as fuck. God, she wouldnt let me sleep with her out of control, rude sleeping antics.. it's like she was the only one in the room or some shit, but she was on my floor at one point, passed out in the room. Me, on the mattress, awake.. hella early, just staring at her.. kinda pissed off? Yeah. Kinda. I was mad that she wouldnt shut the fuck up.. but I love her anyways, and understand that she needed the sleep or whatever, so I didnt wake her up.. I didn't put her outside, I just dealt with it, but anyways,
"Buttercup.."
Flash forward a couple years, 1143ish one night..
"BUTTERCUP, WHAT THE FUCK?"
From the other side of the garage door, I hear her wake up. I hear her shake around.. She rushes to the other side of the door, I hear. I try to lift the thing up, but im not strong enough. I try to slip my fingers underneath the door to her, but they're not long enough. She smells me, I hear her nose.
"Buttercup.." I whisper, "..told you I'd come back.."
Her nose makes all this noise.. and though we don't touch, just knowing each other is there, divided by this door, divided by some beliefs, and morals, pages and scriptures, divided by alot of things.. We just know each other is there, and that's good enough. And in our own little ways, possibly smiling inside, possibly farting with joy, I do our "secret call" (psssttttttttt!) one last time, and hurry back to my car, and waiting friend, and speed off down the street, finally re-united with my bag, and the contents inside, drive off into the night...
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
sitting here and my friends playing with his cats, got a laser pointer on the floor, and making one, then two, three, and four cats come out from hiding and chase after the beam. laughing and on the computer listening to the psychedelic furs.. People ask me when am I going to get a place, when am I going to get a room, when am I going to start new...
when
when
when..
When im ready.. when I feel this journey is over, because there's been nothing like it, on the move.. even though im tired, even though I don't sleep the same, it makes all the sense and getting used to all the pets. im stressed, sure. I'm worried, yeah. About my car, about my job, about my future, but all my new friends, and places and cities ive been to.. nothing can change my desire for that, my need to be on the move, and one day, I'm putting this out there, one day I do want to settle down, on all fronts of my life, and start over, let the rebirth continue, and eventually be born into something new, but for right now, LA on the loom, and meeting up with other friends.. right now is all in bloom...
when
when
when..
When im ready.. when I feel this journey is over, because there's been nothing like it, on the move.. even though im tired, even though I don't sleep the same, it makes all the sense and getting used to all the pets. im stressed, sure. I'm worried, yeah. About my car, about my job, about my future, but all my new friends, and places and cities ive been to.. nothing can change my desire for that, my need to be on the move, and one day, I'm putting this out there, one day I do want to settle down, on all fronts of my life, and start over, let the rebirth continue, and eventually be born into something new, but for right now, LA on the loom, and meeting up with other friends.. right now is all in bloom...
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