and you seriously need to understand that these feelings, or realizations, or revelations, or whatever.. its like having a baby.. you and the... whatever it is -have a baby in your brain, and the things you think about never leave you.. so either you add on to that, you expand it a little bit, or you leave it be -after, its up to you, but this "baby" is illegal, according to our government, and that is NO JOKE, because our government has done alot for us, alot of good.  So you need to ask yourself if serving time is worth it, because jail/prison is NO JOKE (once again)... you really take your FREEDOM for granted until you've spent a day in prison, and that shit is not worth it, trust me.  There's legal hallucinogens, though they may not be good for you..at least you can have a similar, or ball park experience until you decide to visit, and venture those vast, yet easily accessible parts of the world where said ingredients are allowed, and legal to ingest.  Work for it though, plan on it being a two year journey until it finally happens, don't obsess over the acquisition, just seriously meditate/"pray on it" and they will come to you.

   prison, and the (sometimes) negative imprint on your brain, and character just aren't worth it at times.  I know curiosity killed the cat, but it certainly wasn't a reason the cat was living for.

   Let me tell you, the deep person in your psyche can be a little overbearing at times, but if mastered it can be a world of fun.. its like the part on avatar when they climb to the top of those waterfalls and find the flying beasts, or winged things... a horse like Eclipse or Bucephalus that can easily kick you off, and into some truth you don't want to face, and not to personalize it or anything, because it might not be about you, but it'll demoralize, and cripple what you thought was true... Revealing (behind the curtain) an ultimate destiny of things, and sometimes it isn't pretty -like a postcard, sometimes -it's shit... like an LA news report.

   So get used to the idea of a spiritual, cosmic shift in the fiber of your personal history,

but keep in mind, life is part of a discovery, its an existence, so don't fear the unknown, don't fear what may or may not happen, because sometimes, rolling the dice in Vegas at three in the morning is worth it, worth it
for the next few years.. You just never know until you do it yourself.

   if it's something that makes you feel seperated from greatness, than how worth it.. how much value does "greatness" have?

do it, because theres only one shot at life, but careful you don't overstep personal boundries, because some fears are God given, and some gardens aren't worth giving up, so be careful with the fig leafs used to cover, because there will be judgement in our future, im sure of it, and some things just aren't worth knowing, so be careful what you let passed the gates of your mind, because what was warned against is actually something true, and not just in that hebrew/greek culture but in the history of mankind.. theres a reason these things are warned against, and not to be taken lightly, so if you're a tourist in some hostile city, don't bother because thatsame town might just spit you out the first day, and sometimes enemy territory just isn't worth it, and
you already know that some "victories" (in sport) are actually defeats.. just because you win one game, doesnt mean the series is yours.. and this inner beast, this consciousness may be too loud, but go for it.  You never know what a road is like until you get out of your car and walk it.